YES!!! I'm still nursing her!

Ok...I'll apologize in advance, but tonight is a rant. I need a little time on my soapbox or this will make me crazy, lol. Emilie will be thirteen months in two days and someone had the nerve recently to ask me "Are you seriously still nursing her?". Yes...yes I am!!!! And honestly...I'm damn proud of it!!!

First of all, nursing is the most natural way of providing nutrition for your infant. But its not just about nutrition, breastfeeding is also a comfort! Think about it for a second, within the first hour of Em's life she was already being taught to nurse. I had barely been rolled into recovery after the surgery and they were opening my gown and placing her on the breast, she instinctively knew what to do (unlike her nervous Mommy) and is something she's done SEVERAL times a day for the entirety of her life. So to those that think that just because she can have cows milk that I should abruptly stop nursing her...well...all I can nicely say is that I completely disagree. I think that weaning should be a very slow process and its a process we've begun. We've dropped a feeding and started introducing cows milk. She's not all that interested in the cows milk, ok she's not really interested at all, but we'll get there.

Here's another thing...Why do you care if I'm still nursing? I mean really??! Again...its the best nutrition she can be provided, its comforting, and its not that abnormal to be nursing after the twelfth month. In fact, a lot of Mom's choose to breastfeed until twenty-four months. I don't plan to do that, I have always said for me that is too long, because by then Emilie would be verbalizing her need/want to nurse and by that point I feel its time to have her on cows milk. But I strongly feel that taking away something that is comforting and habit for her needs to be done with extreme care, which to me means doing it slowly.

So...that's my rant for tonight. Feel free to disagree :) But you look at this sweet face and tell me that you wouldn't want to be sure you were doing things as carefully as possible!

Just have faith

I was taught another valuable lesson today...to remember to have faith! I woke up this morning feeling a little cruddy which is never a good way to start the day, my emotions tend to get the best of me when I don't feel well and then a series of stressful events entered the day and I started to feel the flood of anxiety coming over me. I let the worry take over and lost the sense of calm I've been carrying around over the last several months. You see...If you know me at all you know, calm and I don't typically go together. I'm high-strung, excitable, and a completely over the top worry wort! Its just me!!! I'd embraced that about myself until recently. Five months ago I was laid off. We were just starting to feel stable with hubby's new job and out comes the rug AGAIN! It's been one darn thing after another for the last several years so I'm not even sure why I was surprised when a new hit came. But instead of completely freaking out, I amazed myself and most people around me by how well I handled it. And somehow I've maintained a pretty good level of calmness regarding our situation since. But there are days when I just can't help it and the worry wort inside me wins and today was one of those days. I started going through the what ifs (NEVER a good idea) but in the end told myself to **after being reminded** that we are always provided for, that things always worked out, and that I just needed to have FAITH!!! Several hours after I calmed myself down, with the help of some amazing people in my life (I am not fool enough to forget to give credit where it is due, lol), I got an email that basically proved I was worrying prematurely. I found myself sitting at the screen staring...I truly believe that it was what my mom and I dub "a God thing" I was being reminded that I am not in control and that worrying does me no good, we will be taken care of. In that I have faith.

This chicken would rather be a Cheetah...

Or something fierce! I was sitting here thinking about the bundle of nerves and anxiety in my stomach and realizing again that I was having a chicken moment. I am so scared of change and even more of RISKS! I like things clean and safe and simple...why can't life be like that?! LOL. So I've decided I'd like to trade in my chicken wings for some fierce cheetah legs...I'd love to be able to make a decision and run like the wind, instead of second guessing myself every step of the way. But that leads me to remember that I need to rely on my faith, I need to trust that there is a plan for my life that is better than anything I can plan and that I can either cluck around in circles of fear like a chicken or paint my spots and run towards the open door. I read in a Ruth Graham book recently that when you don't know what your supposed to do, you should just walk through the open doors and when one closes you step aside and walk through the next open door. Those doors will lead you where you were supposed to go, even if you have no idea what the destination may be. (This is paraphrased of course). Several doors have closed for us in the last few months, but I can also look ahead and see that doors are opening. These new doors require taking a risk (which is the LEAST comfortable thing for me) but I have to trust that this door was opened for a reason and that there is something for us to learn by walking through it. So please pray that I can channel my inner Cheetah!!

On a totally different note my little love bug is getting THREE molars all at once and has really been suffering from them. She's been sleeping through the night for over three months and has woken up more in the night in the last week than in the last three months combined. I hate that she's hurting and wish there was more we could do to ease her pain...but also wish we could go back to SLEEPING!!!! LOL

Night All!

Happy First Birthday baby girl!

I can't believe my baby is a year old!! Last weekend we celebrated Emilie's first birthday with family and some friends and it was a blast! She was a total ham once she warmed up and had wonderful time. The above picture is Emilie at her one year photo shoot with Bella Jewel Photography...it was a hot Texas afternoon but we got some AMAZING photos!

This year has been such a whirlwind of emotions and I don't expect that to change anytime soon, but regardless of the any stress we've experienced its been the most amazing year of my life. Emilie has completely changed me, changed everything I thought about myself...for the better. Maybe not for the "easier" but definitely for the better :) Tonight I watched her play in the floor and was amazed that this "big girl" was the teeny baby they put in my arms just over a year ago!! She has changed and grown right before our eyes...changing us along with her in the process. I'm grateful to say its not just me that has changed, she's changed her Daddy too...I'm so proud of the man he's become. He was a great husband before and I've always been proud of him, but the man he's become as a father is just incredible. I am so blessed.

We have my Mom in town since the party and we're having such a great time letting Emilie spend some time with her Grammie! It's very clear that Em knows who her Grammie is and LOVES HER!!! Very rarely will Em bail out of my arms for someone else but it has warmed my heart to see her on SEVERAL occasions bail out of my arms to get into Grammie's lap. They love to read together and giggle...I'm loving that she's getting the opportunity to enjoy her Grammie. I'm enjoying her too! I hope Emilie enjoys time with me 27 years from now as much as I do with my Mom.

In other news this week, we had an awful 1 year well visit!! They needed to do a blood draw and they tried twice and never found a vein on my little one. It was an awful experience!! And to add insult to injury when they finally gave it up they still had to administer THREE shots!! Needless to say we were all very upset. Unfortunately we have to go on Monday and have the lab try, I called ahead and found a woman who seems very confident that she can find a vein so I'm praying that its quick and painless!!!! We also started cows milk this week, we aren't replacing any nursing sessions yet, just introducing it. She doesn't hate it...but she doesn't get excited over it either, so we'll see how this transition goes. She's working on molars and they are NOT NICE! But she's doing as well as can be expected. Today for the first time she took only one nap and did very well...I'm trying to decide if its time to continue on that path and just move away from two naps now. I think she's more ready for that than I am!

Well...that's as much of an update as I can do tonight...battery on the laptop is screaming at me :) Sorry we go so far behind! See ya soon!