It's been too long!

I fell of the wagon and and haven't blogged in a while, but I'm hoping to be better. I don't really have a lot new to tell you. Emilie will be 16 months old on Friday (Where did the time go?!?) and since I'm sure you're all wondering...Yes she is weaned! LOL My little Emmie-bear is now onto cows milk, of course she's still drinking the fancy stuff so its going to cost me a shiny nickel but I plan to start mixing the fancy with some good old fashioned Kroger milk next week and eventually wean her off the fancy stuff. I'll let you know how that goes! Tonight was funny, I usually give her an evening milk before bed (since the last nursing session to wean was the just before bedtime) but I was craving milk and decided to fix a glass for myself and she was laughing and smiling like she thought I was drinking HER drink! So I asked her if she wanted some and she shook her head yes!!! First time she's shaken her head to answer something. I made her a sippy of milk and it was gone in no time! I am so relieved. I was afraid she would never take to milk. She still gets lots of cheese and yogurt, but I want to be sure she's getting adequate calcium. Here's how big she is with her yogurt lately!

I'm amazed at how fast she is growing and changing. She figured out how to work the spoon in just a few days--now she's got it down and can/wants to do it all by herself! If I try to help too much she gets very upset. I do help a little to make sure we get a good amount IN her mouth, but she does pretty well. Now the mess on the other hand!!!

Pardon the sleepy eyes...Em's working on some teeth...her four canines are coming in all at once and its wearing her out. She's being a pretty good sport about it but its definitely bothering her. Ok--ta ta for tonight!!

Ponytails, Stride Rite, Playgroup, & Bright Ideas

I used to do my hair. I vaguely remember a day that I did my hair....I think. It seems like a good day lately that I take a shower and actually blow dry it, but even then its swept up into a ponytail the minute its dry! And some days...it doesn't even get dry. I don't know when babies stop pulling hair but my kiddo has a knack for pulling mine OUT! I asked the question on my facebook this weekend, when do they stop pulling so I'll stop wearing a ponytail and a friend mentioned this point. When do I think I have the time to actually STYLE hair?! She's right...ponytail it is. I actually went in today and cut nearly four inches off...my biggest criteria to her haircut. I MUST still go up. Has to...no if...no kind of...it absolutely MUST go up. And thankfully she listened and it does. Its nice and light and I'm hoping that with less of it to do I just might be able to wear it down once in a while. I'm laughing at myself because I had a big victory today. My big victory of the day??? Getting Stride Rite to replace shoes they sold us that didn't fit my child! We went in a few weeks ago and purchased two pairs of shoes. They fit her and tried them on her while she was in our arms or sitting on the ground, they never asked her to stand in the shoe, much less walk. So when she'd only worn them a handful of times and they were too small and physically hurting her toes I was NOT a happy camper. I asked around and all our little friends wear Stride Rites too, there just isn't another great option for early walkers but a friend told me to call them that they were great about working with you. Incredibly they had me come back in, re-fit her, let her walk and run in the shoes and then EXCHANGED them for us!!! I was shocked! Of course they didn't have the ones we'd picked last time in her current size so I had to pick new ones and they are a little more fall/winter looking than I'd planned but it is September so they'll be great. She said she should be able to wear these until Spring so I really hope she's right. Nevertheless...I definitely recommend Stride Rite. They are awesome. Just make sure to do your part and know that they need to stand/walk/run and that if the shoe Velcros...the entire Velcro needs to attach, otherwise they don't fit. Tomorrow's our busy morning. Kindermusik and then playgroup at the park and picnic. Emilie will be exhausted by the time we get home for her nap but our little group is SO much fun to play with. She'll love it! One of the big reasons I joined Kindermusik (other than the educational reasons for Emilie of course) is that I needed to meet other Moms with kids Em's age. I felt like it was important to have a network of Moms and kiddos. I was honestly frustrated because for our first several classes there weren't Moms my age and when a few joined they were uninterested in getting together outside of class. Thankfully I'd gone to one makeup class with the early group and ended up running into one of those Mom's in the toy aisle at Walmart! She added me to their playgroup list and I was AMAZED at this group of Moms that found time to get together routinely. When Emilie's nap changed I did a happy dance that we could switch into their class permanently and we now have an amazing group of wonderful friends to play with. We meet up at least once a week, sometimes several times a week to play and eat and just enjoy each other. It's been such a blessing to me and I'm incredibly thankful for it. On a totally random note, I read a friends blog today. She wrote "Lately, I feel like I'm not doing enough. And by that, I don't mean having enough on my day-to-day agenda. Because I do. What I mean is that I feel like I am not doing enough that is significant. I have this passion to serve, to help others, to make a real difference and most times, I feel like I fall flat of my potential." Wow...Its like she stole the words right out of my heart. I feel the exact same way. I have so many passions about helping others, specifically kiddos, and so many ideas, but I fall flat on the doing part. On finding ways to get involved and reaching out. I find myself talking the good talk, or thinking it, but not on doing it. So I'm giving myself a challenge. By the end of the year (just over 3 months) I need to find a way to serve, even if its a small start I need to do something until I find what I'm supposed to be doing to serve. I feel deeply within myself that there is something I'm supposed to be doing, something that will make a difference (even if its only in the life of one person), and I'm going to work harder to be proactive in finding that something. Thank you friend for reminding me not to allow myself to fall flat. Ok...I'm in a million places tonight but that's how my minds working these days! Night ya'll! P.S.--No one commented to tell me you were reading when I asked last time, but Blogger has this wonderful new stat that shows me that post had at least twenty views...so please let me know your there and if there are questions or topics you'd like opened to discussion :) And since I know you love them...here's a cute pic of my crazy bunch for your viewing pleasure :) Em was requesting a pony ride (fitting since we talked about ponytails, lol) and the dogs decided to line up for their turn too!

Nursing melt down...yup...still going...

This week we dropped the morning nurse, leaving only the near bedtime nurse. It wasn't planned on my part, in fact, I probably would have given her another week after recovering from being sick, but I was worn out and her Daddy thought letting me sleep was a good idea so he kept the monitor low and let me sleep in. Without waking me he got her up and gave her a sippy of milk and that was that. Once we start it there is no going back, so there went the morning nurse and man she is ticked. I mean TICKED!!! The first morning it went well; it was ten before I woke up on my own (OMG...it had been over 14 months since I've slept that long) and she'd had an entire sippy of milk (WOW...too bad it was a one time thing), had eaten breakfast and was playing nicely. The second morning I stayed in bed so that she wouldn't see me and I could hear her protesting. She wasn't happy at all, but eventually got on with her routine--no milk though. Unfortunately when I did get up Braden made the mistake of bringing her into our room and plopping her on the bed, so when I didn't nurse her...well lets just say she lots her mind. Complete meltdown. This morning I heard her protesting again but it didn't last as long and she did drink an ounce or two (I guess I should be glad she took SOME milk right?!). The problem is by the end of the day she is just freaking out to nurse. Like begging at my legs when its time. Then she nurses like she's afraid its the last time, doesn't let go until she gets the last drop. Then smiles at me like I made her day! Its heartbreaking. I feel awful taking away something she's known her entire life when she obviously doesn't want to give it up. And I'll be honest. I love nursing her. I love the connection we have, love that I'm the only person in the entire world that can do this for her. But I also realize that it's time. Since she's having such a hard time with this session I know I'm going to have to give her a little time before cutting the last one (Oh darn!). We have several things coming up that will disrupt her routine as it is, so throwing that on top of it is only asking for trouble. She earned herself a few more weeks. But in all reality we should be done nursing at the end of the month. So maybe in October I should go buy myself some fancy bra's because I'll have my boobs back! LOL On a different note. Here are a couple of things I made this week. The first is a rag quilt I made of Emilie's old infant receiving blankets. They were too worn to save for a possible future baby and for some reason I just couldn't throw them away. When Em was little the receiving blankets were practically a part of her daily outfits. We'd pick an outfit and a blanket for the day. They mean something to me. So I cut them up and re-purposed them into a blanket she can use now and for a little while to come. The second picture is a bib. A friends Mom made two like this when Em was born and we've loved them. But they are getting a little small so I had to replace them. I made a pattern out of her old one and made a new one for her. I got some other fabric so I hope to make a few more soon.

Poop to Virus to Dehydration...Our Hospital Journey

Well a few weeks ago we were talking about poop, I was laughing at the time...I'm not laughing anymore. Poop can actually become a very serious thing. Emilie's poor little tummy was pretty torn up from the constant diarrhea and then we think she got a virus, the two together were too much on her little system and it caused her little bowel to basically shut down a little. The parastolic movement stopped and it was basically sleeping, without the bowel doing its job she began to vomit and not long after she was becoming pretty dehydrated...it was awful. Here's our story: After nearly two weeks of extreme diarrhea from the Omnicef Emilie was taking to help with her sinus infection (and yes we did probiotics and yogurt) her little system was tired. Then as kids do she must have picked up a stomach bug. I had noticed that Emilie wasn't eating breakfast well and within a few days she'd started to boycott food altogether. I thought that it was because of the antibiotic and once she finished it we would start to see her appetite return. But she finished her meds on a Thursday and by the weekend her appetite had only further decreased, even when offering her favorite foods. I was really starting to worry but on Sunday night she ate nearly everything on her tray, I thought...WHEW! We're ok!! Monday-- But we were woken up early Monday morning with a vomiting baby. I assumed that she'd just picked up a bug from the playdate we'd had over the weekend, but since she hadn't been eating well and then got sick after her first real meal I went ahead and called the Dr. We went in and she said that it looked like it was just a bug or that she was having trouble due to the antibiotic, she said she really thought the vomiting was a one time deal and home we went. Well...within five minutes of getting home...VOMIT CITY!!! There goes our one time deal!! She continued to refuse food other than small snacks here and there but the night went pretty well. She went to bed fine but was sick again in the night. Tuesday-- Tuesday she woke up and nursed well but refused her sippy cup...NOT GOOD! This kid LOVES juice and water, loves her cup! As we went through the day she continued to refuse to eat and drink and I could see that things weren't going in the right direction because she also hadn't had a wet diaper. After she went a confirmed 6 hours without a wet diaper (I say confirmed because she woke up wet, but the next diaper was more liquid poo so I can't say whether or not she'd peed, so we waited a bit) I knew we were in trouble and made a call back to the Dr. They recommended syringe feeding her Gatorade G2 every five minutes for three straight hours. I could not miss a dose. If she hadn't peed an hour or so after that I was to call the Dr back. Have I mentioned in previous posts that my child is stubborn and independent?! She can't even stand to be spoon fed, so imagine trying to get a syringe in her mouth every five minutes. I had to literally pin her down and force it every five minutes and honestly...we lost a lot of the Gatorade. I did my best and was told by the Dr that it was ok and that's part of why we were doing it every five minutes. But let me tell you...it was a nightmare! Doing it alone was probably even worse, but we made it through. I did have to step away once and allow myself a good cry, I think it was with only thirty minutes left and her diaper was bone dry...I just broke down. I didn't let her see me upset, I put on my happy face and came back into the room to finish the job we'd started. Now we just wait....wait on pee....But guess what...It's 8pm and her diaper is...BONE DRY STILL!!!! I seriously wanted to cry but instead I picked up my phone and called the Dr. back. We spent some time on the phone and since Emilie wasn't showing any signs of dehydration other than a lack of urine output she didn't feel like there was much we could do at the moment. I could try taking her to the Acute Kids but since she was still happy and playful they wouldn't likely give her fluids. I did call them for a second opinion and they said the same...they wouldn't stick an active happy kid. I felt really frustrated that because I have a resilient happy go lucky baby we couldn't get help, and felt confident that we needed it, but all I could do was keep a close watch and do as the Dr. recommended which in this case was to nurse her and let her go to bed. Wake her up at 3am and if she wasn't wet start another round of syringe feeding. So that's what we did. And at 3am....SHE WAS DRY!!! At this point I'm tried and frustrated and don't want to fight my baby through the night so I scooped her up and nursed her. I don't know how much she got, because we don't typically nurse at night, but I had to do something. And within 20 minutes of our night nurse....WE HAD PEE!!! Can you say huge sigh of relief?! It would have been had I not noticed that even though we had pee...she was looking awfully clumsy. I was hoping she was just tired, so we all went back to bed hoping morning would show that we'd turned the corner. Oh how wrong was I... Wednesday-- We woke up Wednesday morning exhausted but hoping Emilie would be feeling better. She nursed, but not as well as I'd have liked, but she did take her her sippy and drink several ounces of juice, that's a huge improvement. I told myself the lack of nursing was because of her night nurse and tried to ignore the worry in my mind, that is until I watched her try to play. She would try to stand up and it took several attempts, then she would take a step or two and stumble. I know these sound like typical toddler behaviors, but Emilie has been steadily walking for several weeks now, this was atypical behavior and again...I called the Dr. I played it off as just wanting to update them on our night and then added the weakness and clumsiness. We were asked to get dressed and bring her in. Yea....I figured those weren't good signs. We left Emilie in her pjs and headed to the Dr office...again. We got the office around 9:30 and took a seat in the lobby, Emilie started to act whiney and wanted out of her Daddy's arms and then BLEH! Vomit city. YUCK! Amazingly it didn't get us seen any quicker, we waited longer than normal but probably because we were fit in. Once they'd had a chance to see Emilie it was clear that she was moderately dehydrated and it was time for a direct admittance to the hospital. By eleven we were admitted and in our room waiting on labs and an IV. As soon as we got settled in our room Emilie started screaming and curling herself up then stretching out, we had no idea what was going on and just thought she was tired and didn't like what we were doing, until she let out some of the loudest toots I've ever heard and then promptly filled her diaper. We laid her across the bed to change her and she fell asleep mid diaper change, no my baby. My baby doesn't stop moving...or fall asleep out of her crib...but there she was passed out cold on the bed. Of course no sooner had she settled down and gone to sleep that they came in to do her belly xrays. When they were done I scooped her up and she fell back asleep against my chest. But don't worry...they don't let you sleep in hospitals, lol...soon they came in to do her IV. They had to wait until an RN freed up that was comfortable trying on an already hard to stick baby that is now dehydrated. It took lots of looking and two sticks but they did get the IV in. Unfortunately she was too dehydrated to get a stick for her labs so they decided to wait for some fluids to run and see if they would have better luck. She'd been looking awfully pitiful but they promised that once they hung the second bag with all the good stuff she'd start to perk up. They hung the bag and we laid her down for a nap. She slept for a while and woke up asking for "ju" aka juice. GOOD SIGN! She did seem to have a bit more spunk and I felt like I could finally breathe since we were admitted. They still couldn't find a vein when they came back later so we ended up having to do a finger prick. At that point, I didn't care how they got it as long as they got what they needed. The stool samples came back negative for everything except for the few that needed several days to run and were much less likely. The xray showed large amounts of gas around the bowel indicating gastroenteritus aka...stomach virus. Nothing too serious as long as we could get the bowel to wake back up and as of lunch we weren't hearing much in the way of bowel sounds. But luckily by the time the Dr. came back at six, we had bowel sounds and she was perking up a bit. The night was a lot less painful in the hospital than we expected, we had a fabulous nurse who was great about checking on Emilie routinely. She was starting to pee the fluids so much that she peed through her diaper, clothes, and bed around 3am. We got her cleaned up, had the nurse help us weave the IV bag through her clothes so we could change them and did a thorough check of her vitals before laying her back down. She slept pretty well until they came in at seven to wake up for changing of the guards. Luckily we were graced with another wonderful nurse and our Thursday was looking up. Thursday-- Emilie is acting like she feels pretty well and is wanting her juice. They wouldn't allow her to eat and she was starting to get frustrated with that so we asked the nurse to call our Dr. Around 10am we were released onto a BRAT diet and I can't tell you how excited that baby was about her applesauce, lol. I went ahead and ran home to shower not knowing how long we'd be up there and updated our family and friends while home. Shortly after returning our Dr came to visit and said her bloodwork was looking better and like it was going in the right direction, so as long as she continued to eat and drink and keep it down we might could go home that afternoon. Getting a nap out of Emilie there the second day was much harder, but her Grandma was able to rub her back until she fell asleep and she had about an hour nap. She definitely would have slept longer but a tech came in to take her temperature and woke her up. She woke up soooo grumpy. I think we were all done with being there at that point. She wasn't really showing a lot of interest in her sippy but she was eating like a champ and had still kept everything down so around four we were finally given the ok...we could take our baby home!!!! The rest has been just taking it slow and getting her back to normal. She's now eating and drinking close to normal. She gets full a little faster and tired a little earlier but I know she'll be at 100% before we know it. That's just how she is. We did gain something out of this...a more snuggly baby! She's been incredibly huggy with me ever since the hospital and I'm loving it. We had an amazing support system through the entire illness and knew that many people were praying for us. I think that helped a lot, I'm incredibly grateful for our friends and family...They are amazing! I've attached a few pictures of Em during her hospital stay, the top was her laying in bed with her new animals, she didn't do much but lay there for the first part of Wednesday. The first at the bottom is later that afternoon when she was starting to come around and had just finished a purple popsicle. The last one is Thursday morning when she was even more perky watching her cartoon. PS- If your reading these...leave me a note. I'm pretty sure only one person actually reads these things and although half of the reason I write them is just as an outlet, I'd still love to know. (Especially since tonight I'm tired and didn't proofread...sorry in advance) Thanks!

PUKE!!!!!

I did it to myself...just this Saturday, I said..."we've been lucky so far, we haven't had to deal with vomit...I don't do vomit". Well...Today...I do vomit. YUCK!!! I heard Emilie fussing at 6:40 this morning which is early for her, then I heard her cough...huh...that's odd. Braden came in a little later with her (he gets her out of bed and brings her to me to nurse, and YES I said nurse) and says "she threw up all over herself." Nice. I don't do vomit so nursing a baby whose little hands smell like puke is not the way I want to wake up, in fact, afterwards I handed her to her daddy and said I'm going back to bed! LOL. I hoped I would wake up and all would be well in her little world. But we had to take several things into consideration first. 1. She's been on an antibiotic for a sinus infection that had been wreaking havoc on her little system. 2. She'd had diarrhea for almost two weeks due to said antibiotic, even with yogurt and a probiotic. 3. She is an eater...I mean an EATER...but she's not really eaten well in 4-5 days. 4. She finally ate a decent meal last night and then promptly threw it up this morning. 1+2+3+4 = phone call to Doctor = Visit. The Dr felt like it probably wasn't viral...too many things involved for it to conveniently be viral, but who knows. She also thinks her little tummy is just having some issues with the antibiotic and thought the vomiting was a one time deal (which was proven wrong the minute we walked back in the door). She's a little concerned about the cause so we've got to do some poop samples (can you say FUN?!) and let them know if anything changes at all. But its likely just her body telling us that the antibiotic was tough on her--at least that's my hope. But we also spent nearly every day this week with her playgroup buddies so it COULD be viral.

Since she's been sickly this month I've checked her temperature easily a dozen times. And I'm learning that holding down a toddler to try to get an underarm or worse...a rectal reading is near impossible. Emilie fights and screams through the entire experience. I'm tired of the fight. We had a Moby ear/forehead thermometer we got as a shower gift when she was born. It never worked right and now won't even turn on. I've been looking at forehead thermometers but never want to dull out the cash, but I think its time to get a good one, its an investment and we'll have it forever...right?? I did some research and found that the The Exergen TemporalScanner Temporal Artery Thermometer is the best rated one out there. I've found it on Amazon and Target for about $33 which is better than I expected to find them. I was going to order it on Amazon because I have prime and it would get here by Wednesday but I need to go grab some Lysol and more Gatorade anyway so I'll just get it at my local Target. Any excuse to go to Target is fine by me. Now I just have to wait until her Daddy can stay with her because there is no way I'm taking a puky kid out!!!

Here's a sweet (but horrible quality) picture of my sweet girl. I handed her the blankie and she snuggled up in her favorite spot with it herself. I got some other precious ones on my camera but haven't had time to upload them yet. I promise to do so before the end of the day because they are just too cute. She loves her blankie!

Emilie times SEVEN

Today was a new experience for Emilie. We had a playdate at our house with six of Emilie's little friends. Including Em we had SEVEN babies between 13 and 22months old. It was wild. It was also a LOT of fun. The kids all played very nicely and enjoyed their snack of fruit and cookies. Everywhere we looked there was a baby, Mommy or TOY. Toys were strewn all over the house, but everyone played sooo well. No fighting over toys or tantrums...it really was nice. I think one of the best parts of the playdates is the Mommy time we get. I know we do playdates to socialize our kiddos but I think its equally important for us Mom's to socialize. I'm so thankful for the group of ladies I've met because of Emilie.

After our playdate I fed Emilie quickly and then we went to my Aunts for dinner. It was nice to sit and visit with my aunt and cousin. Emilie played so nicely over there, she really is a good little girl. Some days she gives me a run for my money but days like today she makes me incredibly proud. We stayed a little later than we usually would so we had to come home and get her straight to bed. We even skipped reading tonight which we NEVER do. When we were saying our prayers before I laid her down she was practically trying to climb out of my arms and into her crib, to say she was tired and ready for bed, is an understatement to be sure. I laid her down and said my goodnights and when I came in to turn on the monitor I could see that she hadn't even rolled over, she just fell asleep exactly as I left her and almost immediately. I enjoy days like today because she's worn out and ready for bed and I know she had fun, but I'm equally ready for a slower day in the very near future so we can rest up a bit.

Now if we can just stop having to Shout several outfits a day I would be happy. Luckily tomorrow is the final day of the antibiotics and we'll continue the probiotics until things are back to normal. I'm hopeful it won't be long. Poor little girl :(

OH!! I learned something this week. Emilie comprehends a LOT more than I gave her credit for. I'm not sure why I didn't think she understood as much as she does. She's really good about sitting on her bottom when told to in her favorite green chair or after a bath, but the other night she was grabbing things off her Daddy's nightstand and I finally just said (more to myself than her) "Emilie please put that back" and I about fell out of my chair when the little toot walked back into our bedroom and put it back! I was shocked!! So I'm trying to talk more to her and she's talking back. It amazes me how smart they can be!! I watched several little ones signing to their Mommies today and know we need to work on her signing more. She'll tell me she's done in her highchair but that's about the only one she consistently uses...She is starting to talk some though so either way we're getting somewhere slowly but surely when it comes to communication.

Alright. I'm beat! NIGHT!!!

Was worried about Poop...what about the pee??

Well, I decided to let her run naked after her bath this morning since we have tile in the master. She ran around like she was FREE!!! She was loving it. I was getting ready for the day and standing at the sink when she walked up and basically straddled my foot and let go. She peed a HUGE puddle and I felt every last drop!! I was shocked at how much could come out of such a little body, but she had two cups of juice already at that point. When I looked down and told her what she had just done she smiled up at me with the biggest most rotten grin...I think she knew exactly what she was doing!

Unfortunately even with her nakey time her little bottom is still really bothering her. I went ahead and started a new course of butt treatment--Maalox. I still think this is crazy but have been told it works and works within about 24 hours. I used a cotton ball and smeared it on and then topped it with aquaphor (which I had to buy more of today...that stuff is EXPENSIVE!!!). I'm really hoping she gets some relief quickly, but I suppose she'd have to stop having liquid poo for that to happen too and today I changed eight of those diapers. Luckily she's drinking a ton of fluids so I'm praying we wont have issues with her dehydrating.

Otherwise she was a happy girl today, lots of love and kisses. She was a hold me baby this evening but I never mind those nights. We did some grocery shopping this morning and I had her dressed in a cute little red Minnie Mouse shirt and khaki shorts and several times at the store people approached me about my cute little boy. UGH!!! I just smiled and nodded, no point in correcting people who I'll never see again, but it drives me crazy. I guess it doesn't help that the child has less hair than most newborns! She might have enough hair to look like a girl by the time she's ten,lol!

Well I just read through a small portion of this and realize that my already poor writing style is worse when I'm tired. Its past my bedtime!!!

Night ya'll!

Poop on the floor???

Sinus infection = antibiotics = runny poo = sore raw baby bottom :(

So Emilie is feeling MUCH better thanks to her antibiotic, but the side effect of runny poo is a little well...a little yucky. Poor baby girl was hanging out in her WHITE pj's this morning with her Daddy when I walked into the room and her, again WHITE pj's, were no longer white from her bottom to her knees!!! Can you say EWWWWWW!!! I said "babe, do you realize she has poop running down her legs??". LOL--nope...he had no clue. Unfortunately she's had 5 more of those diapers today which has taken a toll on her little bottom. We've started a course of pro-biotics and she eats yogurt really well, so hopefully that will help her little insides and I'm doctoring her bottom with a thick shmear of Aquaphor and then Desitin. I'm hoping that helps but the last time I had to change her before bed she was miserable being wiped and it broke my heart. I was told to let her roam diaper free as much as possible to get her little bottom some air...but...I HAVE CARPET!!!! So here's the dilemma, let her run free and chance a nice mess to clean up (again...EWWW) or let her suffer. I know what the answer is but I'm honestly gun shy. Which I can't really understand because I have dogs. Heck, I fostered dogs and more than a few have pooped on the floor (different house though) and we even have the little steam machine to clean messes up. But I still couldn't make myself undo her little diaper tonight. A friend told me to "contain her to a blanket to play on or something" and then we both laughed knowing that my busy bee is not containable, lol!

**And how ridiculous is it that I'm sitting her giggling to myself about the double meaning in the phrase gun shy for this use, I think Mommy brain has kicked in for the night and I'm left with as much maturity as a teenager**

Other than lots of diapers we've had a really nice day hanging out at home together. She has been in the cutest mood and played so nicely all day. She did lots of independent play with her books and climbing in and out of her chair. I've slightly given up that battle. I taught her how to get down and if asked to sit on her bottom she usually does. I realize that she will eventually fall out of it and have to pray that she bounces when she does, but she's a toddler now and she's learning new skills and I have to let her practice them. I do watch her carefully and ask her to sit if she's getting too crazy, but several times today she just crawled up in it to sit and talk to a toy--super cute!! Not only was she super cute with me today, but she was really loving on her Abbey. She definitely prefers Abbey over Mac (she is so my kid!)and today after sharing a snack with me she took her last two bites and walked them over to feed Abbey. Abbey was a little confused and looked at me for an okay and then sweetly let Emilie feed her. It was cute. I'll attach a picture of the exchange but please forgive how Emilie looks. I gave up on pants after she pooped through two pairs and it was just a stay home and comfy kind of day.

And just in case you were wondering...yes...we're still nursing ;) We did drop another feeding this week so we're down to morning and night. I feel good about it because she's adjusted very well to losing her mid-day nurse, but when I ask her if she's ready at night she's practically freaking out with joy so I know she misses it a little.

Ok it's past my bedtime!! Gotta rest up so I can keep up tomorrow :)

Sick babies

I think the worst part of parenting has to be watching your baby be sick and be completely useless in easing their discomfort. I'm incredibly grateful that the worst illness we've dealt with are strep, reflux, teething, or sinus infections, but even though they are minor illnesses...its still AWFUL to watch your child suffer. My little one has been suffering for ten days with a summer cold/allergies that eventually turned into a sinus infection. Watching her struggle to breathe while she eats or NURSES (yup...still doing the dreaded N word)is awful, it really breaks my heart. But the little piglet presses on, even though it takes twice as long and she's really uncomfortable she's doing her best to eat me out of house and home. Now if she'll just sleep tonight I'll be happy. Lastnight she had me up from 4:45-6:15am crying, it was pathetic...she didn't really want me, she just wanted to lay in her crib and cry. I felt so bad for her. I thought she'd take a great nap today but nope...40 min tops. Thankfully the Dr. felt like she definitely had a sinus infection and was able to start her on some antibiotics. I'm praying that this will finally bring us some relief. I am a little concerned that this is her second sinus infection...my Mom and I are both prone to them and I'm really hoping that Em isn't.

Even though she hasn't felt well for the last week, she's really been active as usual. She's perfected her walking and is everywhere! Today she walked all over the Dr. office and they ate it up...they chased her all over the place, sometimes I think they make me bring her in just to play with her, she gets lots of attention at her visits, lol. Not only has she perfected her walking, she's climbing!!! We have some chairs that apparently are reasonably low that she's figured out she can climb into. I think she's encouraging early graying with all her climbing lately. I'm terrified she will fall, but I did teach her how to safely get down and she's doing that well.

Last week I worked a lot and enjoyed it! I was doing some work that was fun to do which is of course the best kind of work. I had another meeting about other new work, but I don't think that will start right away -- and its not fun work, lol...I don't think. I'm hoping to get some more fun work soon :) I need to get my sewing machine out and do a couple of the projects on my list and see what comes of that. I've considered doing a few and putting them on etsy just to see...but I've been all talk about it for months and months. I want to actually do it, but just can't seem to get it done. I'm hoping to push it up further on my to-do list. I need something to push me to do it. Maybe an incentive. I'm good at working with an incentive hanging over my head, lol. I always give myself little incentives to do things I don't want to do. Have to go to a function I don't want to attend?? Ok...do it, but after I get ice-cream!!! Maybe my first step is to figure out a good incentive...then start my projects :) Now...what's a good incentive??

Peek-a-boo

Today we played lots and lots of peek-a-boo. We seem to do this any day that she's a little out of sorts and needing extra blankie time. She woke up from her nap and grabbed her blankie when I reached to pick her up, so I knew she wasn't feeling quite herself. She LOVES her blankie, which honestly...I totally love. I don't know about you, but I had a security item and its a constant I reminder from my childhood and something I still smile at just the thought of. I was a blankie baby as well, my grandmother- Meme, made me a blanket when I was born and that poor thing has seen better days, but it's still around tucked away safely in my hope chest. Emilie's grandmother, Grammie Becca, knitted her a blanket and she's had it since before she was born. She's been napping with it since she was three months old (it has holes in it and we have a video monitor...take a breath!! LOL) and sleeping with it at night since six months old. In the last several months she's become more and more attached to it and now I find her snuggled up with it in the night instead of just leaving it draped over her. I love seeing her snuggle her blankie and it makes me so happy that its something her Grammie made her much like the one my Meme made for me.

I feel like I just wrote in circles about absolutely nothing! Sorry about that! I was thinking today about how much being a Mom has really changed me. A girlfriend and I were talking this evening about life changes. Specifically work changes. Both of us are in the midst of our work lives changing and we discussed that we used to care a lot more about the WHAT we were doing. Titles used to be so much more important. In fact, I can honestly say that when it comes to work/career...I only understand labels and titles. My grandparents were teachers, my mom a nurse, and I am a designer. My degree is in Interior Design, I've spent years working in the various parts of the industry but am not at all where I would imagined, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, its just different than I planned. Plan...I should just laugh at that word. My mom said it best when she said "the best way to make God laugh...is to make a plan". How true is that?! ANYWAYS...We both agreed that although its hard for us to wrap our heads around the feeling...neither of us care as much about what we're doing anymore. Its just about doing what it takes to provide for our family in the way they need. And that need is different for every family. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but if I've learned anything at all in the past few years I've learned that my plans for our future might as well be written on toilet paper and flushed straight down. I'm being completely serious about this. If you had any idea what kinds of things we've faced in the last four years you'd agree with me. I'm a planner. I'm an OBSESSIVE planner. So this is a VERY difficult concept for me to grasp...but I'm working on only taking one day on at a time. To make the best decision for our family I can on that day and just pray and trust that it will take us where we're supposed to be. Because I have NO CLUE where we are supposed to be...that much is clear. My plans of where we were supposed to be have been proved wrong, wrong, and wrong again. So my new plan...my new goal...is no plans. Take each day as it comes, put one foot in front of the other, make the best decisions we can make on that day, and learn to trust. So instead of making plans or pulling the blanket over my face and hiding...I'm going to take a note from my daughter and just smile.

First Temper Tantrum

Mind you she's only 13 Months old...but yesterday we had our first full out temper tantrum! And I couldn't help but crack up! We had gotten her dressed for her boyfriends first birthday party, she was in a cute pink onesie and an overall jumper from her Grammie. I THINK that the jumper was too long and it bothered her when she crawled and then would pull the metal at the shoulders down bothering her shoulders...but since she can't tell me, that's just a guess. What I do know is that she sat in the floor yelling and pulling at the shoulder straps! She would not stop yelling and tugging until I finally undid them, then she was perfectly happy. It was hysterical!! Luckily we had another equally cute denim jumper to put her in that was a little shorter and didn't seem to bother her at all. Needless to say...my one year old already has an opinion on her clothes! OY...we're in trouble!

On another random note, I had a conversation with a friend Friday that has stuck with me about faith. We were talking about the big life changes we were facing and I mentioned a favorite part of the Ruth Graham book I've been reading. She talks about worry and anxiety in not knowing which direction to go when faced with a life change. Her advice is to just walk through the open doors until one closes, then walk through the next open one. Even if we don't know what's on the other side He does...and we need to have faith that He will point us in the right direction, even if it isn't the route we would have chosen to take. I told my friend that this is an incredibly hard concept for me, I like to have a plan. I've been told that I was bad about this as a small child, its just how I've always been. So I tend to want to stand on the outside of the door peeking in to see what's inside instead of taking the leap of faith and just walking through. Again we're back to the fact that I'm a CHICKEN! I was faced with having to take that giant leap this week and walk through a door. I won't know for a while what the effects of that decision will be, but I have faith that it was the right decision. I'm proud of myself for just moving...its so easy to stay stuck in fear and I didn't let that happen.

Oh...and we're still nursing :) Get used to it! We talked to her Doctor this week and she said Em is doing wonderfully and I'm doing everything right for MY baby. So we're down to 2-3 time daily and I'll drop them when we choose. :)

On a less happy Emilie note...we found out she has a peanut allergy this week. Can you say SCARY?! She's had two noticeable reactions to peanut butter, the second was atleast 10x worse than the first which worries me. We took pictures and headed to the Doctor (after drowning her in Benadryl). By the time she saw the doctor the hives and rash had disappeared and just a little swelling was left. Luckily I'd thought to take pictures so she was able to see how bad it had been. She said that we have to avoid peanuts for sure but really ALL nuts for Emilie for many years. When Emilie is older (like late grade school) we can try an oral challenge and see if she has outgrown it or is possibly a candidate for desensitization therapy, but for now prevention is key. We sent out a mass email to family asking them to help us protect her by not having peanut products in her presence and to let us know if they can't be avoided at a function so we can choose to stay home. We built a stock of allergy fast action strips, pre-meausured liquid doses, and purchased her first epi-pen. I hope she never has to use it. But aren't we the pair with our almost matching epi-pens everywhere we go, lol. The more I learn about a peanut allergy the more worried I become, it can be a very serious and potentially life threatening allergy, but already having one of those myself I'm hopeful that we'll be able to protect her from any future incidences. And sadly you won't find peanut butter in my home anymore...its one of my favorite foods, but its not worth the risk.

One last note...She's walking! It's about 50/50 walking and crawling, but she can walk from one room to another so I suppose that means my baby is officially a TODDLER?! OY!

Here's a picture of the allergic reaction:


And here is her just being cute :)


And last, one of her with her blankie :)

Today was all smiles!

Today was all smiles for everyone here!! It started off with a wonderful blast from the past. I found myself very grateful and reminded that God is in control and that we will be taken care of. Things are starting to really look like they may be falling into place for some wonderful opportunities. After my awesome blast from the past we headed off to Kindermusik to enjoy class with our Mommy and baby friends. It was a great class as usual and I'm so glad we're doing it. Its not only wonderful for Emilie but its a great reminder that there are other Mommies out there going through the same things. We have almost as much fun together as the kiddos do!! We'd only been home a few hours when the phone rang again with more encouraging news for us...that's about the time I took this picture of Emilie, her huge smile is the perfect picture of how I am feeling today. And I guess the extra pep in my step was great because I was incredibly productive and am ending my day feeling really good about everything I've done today. Which by the way...is a pretty fantastic feeling! So today I'm borrowing a friends catch phrase, because today it really is true. Life is good!!!

On another note Emilie was a walking fool tonight!!! She tends to walk the most when no one is paying attention, we've even seen her walking and then the minute she sees us watching she drops to her knees. I think it's hilarious. But tonight I was finally able to get the camera in time and catch a few steps. Unforunately she'd decided to drown her dress playing with her sippy cup so she's looking a little on the ghetto side, but still perfectly precious :)

YES!!! I'm still nursing her!

Ok...I'll apologize in advance, but tonight is a rant. I need a little time on my soapbox or this will make me crazy, lol. Emilie will be thirteen months in two days and someone had the nerve recently to ask me "Are you seriously still nursing her?". Yes...yes I am!!!! And honestly...I'm damn proud of it!!!

First of all, nursing is the most natural way of providing nutrition for your infant. But its not just about nutrition, breastfeeding is also a comfort! Think about it for a second, within the first hour of Em's life she was already being taught to nurse. I had barely been rolled into recovery after the surgery and they were opening my gown and placing her on the breast, she instinctively knew what to do (unlike her nervous Mommy) and is something she's done SEVERAL times a day for the entirety of her life. So to those that think that just because she can have cows milk that I should abruptly stop nursing her...well...all I can nicely say is that I completely disagree. I think that weaning should be a very slow process and its a process we've begun. We've dropped a feeding and started introducing cows milk. She's not all that interested in the cows milk, ok she's not really interested at all, but we'll get there.

Here's another thing...Why do you care if I'm still nursing? I mean really??! Again...its the best nutrition she can be provided, its comforting, and its not that abnormal to be nursing after the twelfth month. In fact, a lot of Mom's choose to breastfeed until twenty-four months. I don't plan to do that, I have always said for me that is too long, because by then Emilie would be verbalizing her need/want to nurse and by that point I feel its time to have her on cows milk. But I strongly feel that taking away something that is comforting and habit for her needs to be done with extreme care, which to me means doing it slowly.

So...that's my rant for tonight. Feel free to disagree :) But you look at this sweet face and tell me that you wouldn't want to be sure you were doing things as carefully as possible!

Just have faith

I was taught another valuable lesson today...to remember to have faith! I woke up this morning feeling a little cruddy which is never a good way to start the day, my emotions tend to get the best of me when I don't feel well and then a series of stressful events entered the day and I started to feel the flood of anxiety coming over me. I let the worry take over and lost the sense of calm I've been carrying around over the last several months. You see...If you know me at all you know, calm and I don't typically go together. I'm high-strung, excitable, and a completely over the top worry wort! Its just me!!! I'd embraced that about myself until recently. Five months ago I was laid off. We were just starting to feel stable with hubby's new job and out comes the rug AGAIN! It's been one darn thing after another for the last several years so I'm not even sure why I was surprised when a new hit came. But instead of completely freaking out, I amazed myself and most people around me by how well I handled it. And somehow I've maintained a pretty good level of calmness regarding our situation since. But there are days when I just can't help it and the worry wort inside me wins and today was one of those days. I started going through the what ifs (NEVER a good idea) but in the end told myself to **after being reminded** that we are always provided for, that things always worked out, and that I just needed to have FAITH!!! Several hours after I calmed myself down, with the help of some amazing people in my life (I am not fool enough to forget to give credit where it is due, lol), I got an email that basically proved I was worrying prematurely. I found myself sitting at the screen staring...I truly believe that it was what my mom and I dub "a God thing" I was being reminded that I am not in control and that worrying does me no good, we will be taken care of. In that I have faith.

This chicken would rather be a Cheetah...

Or something fierce! I was sitting here thinking about the bundle of nerves and anxiety in my stomach and realizing again that I was having a chicken moment. I am so scared of change and even more of RISKS! I like things clean and safe and simple...why can't life be like that?! LOL. So I've decided I'd like to trade in my chicken wings for some fierce cheetah legs...I'd love to be able to make a decision and run like the wind, instead of second guessing myself every step of the way. But that leads me to remember that I need to rely on my faith, I need to trust that there is a plan for my life that is better than anything I can plan and that I can either cluck around in circles of fear like a chicken or paint my spots and run towards the open door. I read in a Ruth Graham book recently that when you don't know what your supposed to do, you should just walk through the open doors and when one closes you step aside and walk through the next open door. Those doors will lead you where you were supposed to go, even if you have no idea what the destination may be. (This is paraphrased of course). Several doors have closed for us in the last few months, but I can also look ahead and see that doors are opening. These new doors require taking a risk (which is the LEAST comfortable thing for me) but I have to trust that this door was opened for a reason and that there is something for us to learn by walking through it. So please pray that I can channel my inner Cheetah!!

On a totally different note my little love bug is getting THREE molars all at once and has really been suffering from them. She's been sleeping through the night for over three months and has woken up more in the night in the last week than in the last three months combined. I hate that she's hurting and wish there was more we could do to ease her pain...but also wish we could go back to SLEEPING!!!! LOL

Night All!

Happy First Birthday baby girl!

I can't believe my baby is a year old!! Last weekend we celebrated Emilie's first birthday with family and some friends and it was a blast! She was a total ham once she warmed up and had wonderful time. The above picture is Emilie at her one year photo shoot with Bella Jewel Photography...it was a hot Texas afternoon but we got some AMAZING photos!

This year has been such a whirlwind of emotions and I don't expect that to change anytime soon, but regardless of the any stress we've experienced its been the most amazing year of my life. Emilie has completely changed me, changed everything I thought about myself...for the better. Maybe not for the "easier" but definitely for the better :) Tonight I watched her play in the floor and was amazed that this "big girl" was the teeny baby they put in my arms just over a year ago!! She has changed and grown right before our eyes...changing us along with her in the process. I'm grateful to say its not just me that has changed, she's changed her Daddy too...I'm so proud of the man he's become. He was a great husband before and I've always been proud of him, but the man he's become as a father is just incredible. I am so blessed.

We have my Mom in town since the party and we're having such a great time letting Emilie spend some time with her Grammie! It's very clear that Em knows who her Grammie is and LOVES HER!!! Very rarely will Em bail out of my arms for someone else but it has warmed my heart to see her on SEVERAL occasions bail out of my arms to get into Grammie's lap. They love to read together and giggle...I'm loving that she's getting the opportunity to enjoy her Grammie. I'm enjoying her too! I hope Emilie enjoys time with me 27 years from now as much as I do with my Mom.

In other news this week, we had an awful 1 year well visit!! They needed to do a blood draw and they tried twice and never found a vein on my little one. It was an awful experience!! And to add insult to injury when they finally gave it up they still had to administer THREE shots!! Needless to say we were all very upset. Unfortunately we have to go on Monday and have the lab try, I called ahead and found a woman who seems very confident that she can find a vein so I'm praying that its quick and painless!!!! We also started cows milk this week, we aren't replacing any nursing sessions yet, just introducing it. She doesn't hate it...but she doesn't get excited over it either, so we'll see how this transition goes. She's working on molars and they are NOT NICE! But she's doing as well as can be expected. Today for the first time she took only one nap and did very well...I'm trying to decide if its time to continue on that path and just move away from two naps now. I think she's more ready for that than I am!

Well...that's as much of an update as I can do tonight...battery on the laptop is screaming at me :) Sorry we go so far behind! See ya soon!

Look what came today!

I opened my front door a little while ago and look what I found! They were in a fedex box with no information so I can only assume they are from the manufacturer since I emailed them to tell them how much we loved them :) If you haven't tried these yet...DO!!! Emilie loves them! This was the first time she'd had the appleapple and no surprise, she loved it. She's now had the applestrawberry, applepeach, and appleapple. All that's left to try is the applebanana and I have no doubt she will love it just as much. They are the perfect size for her little hands to hold herself and she's figured out how to suck the applesauce out of the packaging without my helping by squeezing. I seriously love these! They don't have to be refrigerated until its been opened so I just keep them in the pantry and throw one in the bag when I know she'll need a good snack. And only once has left anything to refrigerate!

My favorite thing about these is that they are all natural, so I can feel good about giving it to her. It's so hard to find easily portable healthy snack options and this is definitely a good one!

Enjoy!!!

My little project

Here's my little project I mentioned last week...I still want to make some alterations to it, but the idea worked at least. The lamp itself works too :) I had this empty wine bottle sitting around but couldn't bear to throw it away (I'm sentimental over stupid stuff sometimes) so I decided to do something with it. And this is the product of that.

Catching up

Ok, so my goal of posting daily didn't exactly happen last week...bummer! It's crazy how busy things can get when your chasing a baby around! She's going to walk any day now too, so I know that its only about to get worse.

One of the things I got the privilege of doing this week was make invitations for a friends little boy and his first birthday party. I had so much fun doing it and even though I'm definitely not a graphic designer they turned out pretty cute :) I attached it here for your viewing pleasure but I did make it a little more generic because I know he is just too precious and I don't need you hunting down my precious little man :D

Emilie had her first experience at the splash grounds on Friday and had a lot of fun, she was pretty nervous at first and didn't seem very interested but once the rest of the kiddos arrived (Mommy read the e-mail wrong and was early) she was all about it! I of course was soaking wet because she'd get wet and then want to be held, but it was a lot of fun. I wish I had pictures of her playing in the water but I couldn't hold her and snap photos. Saturday we went and did her first birthday photo shoot, it was HOT!!! but sooo much fun. We spent an hour and a half in the 104 degree Texas heat and we were all worn out and grumpy by the time it was over, but we had a blast. We had some trouble getting good smiles because on top of the heat (and lack of a good nap) she's getting her molars, but I THINK we got some great ones. We'll see in a few weeks!! EEEK sooo excited! Sunday we went to church and she went to the nursery again, she didn't do as well at all this week. She was screaming bloody murder until we got her moved to a different volunteer, she did finally settle down and we were able to enjoy the service. It was very hard for me not to go in and just scoop her up and get out of there but I know that its a good experience for her and she ended up doing just fine.

This week is going to be even busier than last, we have something planned every single day. I'm hoping the pain from her molars won't make her too grumpy and we can enjoy the last week before I have a one year old!! I can't believe how fast time flies!!!

People are genius!!!

The person who invented these GoGo's are first of all GENIUS and secondly...probably filthy rich! I cannot believe I am just now stumbling upon these, but I found then on an end cap in the main grocery section of Target (somewhere I need to avoid) and figured why not...she likes fruit...

Oh my...this child was IN LOVE!!! It was so cool, we were sitting in the floor together and I would give it a light squeeze and she'd pull away when she had enough and then come back for another squeeze a second later. She ate the entire thing and its a healthy snack!! The best part is they would be so easy to throw in the diaper bag and eat while we're out, which makes my day because I feel like our only easy snack choices on the go are usually cheerios or puffs and this is a much better option. I seriously wish I'd invented these!!

On a less random note, today was Kindermusik day. Em was a total ham!! She was giggling and yelling, dancing, you name it. She really enjoyed herself today. She was making herself heard at Target too...apparently had LOTS to say. Luckily she was doing it with a smile instead of throwing a fit so I just let her go. Yup...we were the obnoxious kid making noise in the store today, but she was having fun :) It's nap time so Mommy needs to get some things done and hopefully she'll wake up in time to get dinner out of the way early and go to story time at the Library. Happy Tuesday!!!

**OH!...I've been working on a project...I love projects! It's coming together, I need to switch some pieces around and then I'll show it off...but I'm proud of myself for thinking it up and then DOING IT! I'm trying to make it a practice to get things done that I think of...even if I just make one and give it as a gift...projects are good for me! Unfortunately I didn't find the right piece for it today and Em's patience had run out...so maybe tomorrow we'll go out searching again and see if we can wrap this one up. I like how its turning out so much I've already bought a piece for the 3rd one, lol! Ok...I'll stop talking about it until they're finished, but I'm trying to make sure I'm doing the things I think up instead of keeping them swimming around in my head forever so I'm proud of myself for meeting this goal so far.

Sunday was a fun day

Ok quick post then I have to go figure out what to do for dinner (because we ate what I planned for dinner at lunch and now sandwiches don't sound good to anyone...sigh!)

We went to church this morning at Heights Baptist in Richardson. We really enjoyed the service and the pastor was great. We took Emilie to the nursery which I dreaded all night last night and all morning because I had never left her with a stranger...NEVER! I was teary eyed but it went really well. They checked us in to their secure login...we had to show i.d. just to drop her off and pick her up which I loved! And unless your wearing a sticker that shows you dropped a kid off back there...well forget getting near their rooms! We took her to her room and introduced ourselves and they quickly snatched my little one from my arms and said she'll be fine...I about THREW UP! But she was fine, they sat her down and she immediately found toys. We wandered to get our complimentary coffee and donut for being a guest (well he did...I couldn't think about eating) and I quickly snuck back to her room to peek. She was fine, playing with what looked like a plastic bell pepper. They nursery attendant said she never cried, and apparently they usually do for a minute or two. We enjoyed the service and then I practically ran to pick up my baby. She was strapped into a four seater stroller and had just been for a ride, she looked very relaxed and frankly about to fall asleep. They said she'd done wonderfully, never got fussy but they could tell she was getting tired and noticed they had to keep her busy to keep her happy...yup thats my kid! My only frustration was that we picked her up with a very wet diaper and since I'd counted the diapers in the bag before we dropped her off I could tell she hadn't been changed. But it had only been an hour and a half...so I guess I'll let it go. It will take a few more nursery visits before I'm comfortable with the idea, but so far so good.
We made my grandmothers chicken spaghetti recipe for lunch after church, ran some errands, played in the sun in the baby pool out back, and relaxed to watch a movie while she took an afternoon nap. It was a great Sunday. Now I've got to figure out dinner, cut some coupons, and work on my current project. Enjoy your Sunday!!!

Make that 10

Ten miles that is!! Emilie and I got up this morning and did two more to round us out at ten for the week. We'll take tomorrow off so we can get to church on time, but back at it on Monday!
Hubs had to work this morning so I didn't have my usual walking buddy, I decided to pull my old Ipod out and listen to music as we walked. Of course I hadn't used it since I graduated from KU four years ago...so the music wasn't quite what I listen to anymore but I hit shuffle and was surprised that the songs it played put me in a much better mood. I've had a rough week, let some anxiety get ahold of me and it was good to walk it off this morning. I came in feeling really refreshed and ready for our day. We spent the afternoon in the pool and all took a nap when we got home. Emilie loves the water and it does crazy things to her appetite! She ate like a little piggy tonight.
Tomorrow is a big day for us, it will be the first time we'll leave Em with a stranger...EVER. I'm already practically sick to my stomach over it, but I know its necessary for both of us. She'll get to play in the church nursery while we go to service and hopefully she'll have fun. She needs to experience us leaving and coming back (and I need to experience leaving her and being ok, lol) and I can't think of a better place for her to get an hour of (FREE) socialization. They have really strict rules about the nursery, we'll have to show ID to sign her in and pick her up and we'll be given a pager in case she needs me...she'll be fine...I'll be fine. But I'm a mess already regardless. I'll let ya'll know how it goes tomorrow.

**Random side note...I noticed that Woombie was an ad displayed on my page, how fitting...we were HUGE believers in swaddling when she was a baby and the Woombie was one of that we liked alot!**

Running on fumes

My goal is to try to blog daily, we'll see if I can keep up. Today I'm running on fumes, I tossed and turned all night but my precious alarm clock went off at 7 on the nose regardless of my tossing. I've learned that unless we have real plans...Emilie is the best alarm clock I could ask for!! I don't think she slept well either as she's been tired today too.
Despite my poor nights rest I laced up my Nike's and hit the pavement for my fourth walk in five days. I try to go daily, but Wednesday I was sore and on a short time frame so I skipped. I walked eight miles this week!! I'm hoping we keep it up over the weekend but its less likely. I felt much better after the walk, it was almost like I'd been able to enjoy a nice hot steaming cup of coffee. Its been nearly 21 months since my last full serving of a caffeinated beverage. First because of the pregnancy and currently because of breastfeeding. I am VERY proud to say we've nursed exclusively thus far and she is just two and a half weeks shy of her first birthday and time to start weaning. I definitely don't knock those who can't/don't breastfeed and use formula, but it wasn't the choice for my family and I'm very proud that we've done so well. It's not easy, not at all. It's a sacrifice but such an amazing gift to be able to provide her with that kind of nutrition and to have that one special thing that only I can do for her. She never took to a bottle well, but will take a sippy with "Mommy's milk" if necessary but she'd prefer to snuggle up to me and get it straight from the source. And I'm OK with that. Its an amazing journey I can't believe is almost over. We've been through it all: having trouble with her latch, engorgement, lumps, MASTITIS!!!, hating the bottle, pumping,over producing, you name it. But even with all of those things, I love the experience and wouldn't do much differently.
Back to our day! LOL. After our walk we hit Kroger to do our grocery shopping, with our list in hand we were in search of two weeks of meals on a budget. We succeeded! We got two weeks of groceries for $100 by utilizing what we already have at home and planning ahead. Now we will have to go back to the store next week to stock up on fresh fruit, yogurt, and milk...we go through those rather quickly and usually require a restock in between big trips. It's amazing to me how much we were spending when I wasn't menu planning. We ended up at the store several times a week and spending nearly twice what we should be. I try to cut coupons but I haven't been very disciplined lately...I plan to do better. OH...and no eating out!! I can cook for a fraction of the price of being lazy and heading to the McDonalds down the street so that's exactly what we'll do!
That's about it for our Friday! The rest of our day has been playing with Emilie and trying to get a few things done around the house. Tomorrow we hope to spend some time in the pool and just relax and enjoy some family time! Hoping for a better nights sleep and maybe a nap after pool time tomorrow :)

Time to jump in

Today I realized that I'm a giant chicken...EVERYTHING seems to scare me lately. Yesterday as I was swinging with a friends kiddo and we were seeing who could swing the highest, I realized I didn't like swinging high, that it now made me very nervous. And today as my 11 month old slid into the pool with a smile from ear to ear, I realized she is more brave than I am! I've been twiddling my thumbs for nearly two weeks...NERVOUS to write my first post! WHY?! No one is reading it, no one even knows its out here! LOL Yet I couldn't dive in.
So in an effort to stop being such a chicken and to take steps in the right direction I'm forcing myself to be more like my daughter and just jump in and have fun. I have to be honest, I have no idea what this blog will be about from day to day. It's just something I wanted to do and I hope if anyone does read it, they enjoy laughing at my crazy life as much as I do! And just for grammie's sake since she's our only follower...here's a picture of my Emilie enjoying making a splash.